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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26436643">One More Chapter We've Yet to Write</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/talewind/pseuds/talewind'>talewind</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy XIV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Patch 5.3: Reflections in Crystal Spoilers, Roegadyn Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), [ben wyatt voice] it's all about the Yearning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:35:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,096</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26436643</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/talewind/pseuds/talewind</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Han'urel has something he wants to tell the Exarch as they approach their ultimate confrontation with Elidibus. The Exarch is quickly reminded that speaking is not one of Han'urel's strengths. But then, does it need to be?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One More Chapter We've Yet to Write</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Full disclosure: I am but a humble free trial player who hasn't even finished A Realm Reborn yet (as of the time of publication I'm close! I only have a few 2.0 MSQs left!). I watched a bunch of 5.3 cutscenes on YouTube because I wanted to know what was going on on my Twitter timeline and was IMMEDIATELY overcome by how much G'raha and the Warrior of Light CLEARLY LOVE EACH OTHER so I HAD to get my gay little hands all over it.</p><p>Title comes from the lyrics of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UPOQJDLDps">the Shadowbringers main theme</a>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I have four siblings," Han'urel blurts.</p><p>There's a hiccup in the Exarch's pace as they ascend the Crystal Tower's seemingly endless staircase. "...Is that right?" he says, his tone carefully neutral, but his ears twitching traitorously.</p><p>"Yeah," Han'urel says, scratching his beard and looking decidedly away from the Exarch, red tinting his pale green cheeks. "Uh, an older sister, and two younger sisters with a brother in the middle of 'em. Girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, y'know?" He chuckles. "For a little while Mom and Dad were hoping for one more boy to even the score, but, y'know, never happened. But yeah, we all grew up in this podunk little fishing town on the Aerslaent coast."</p><p>His smile grows distant, wistful. "When I decided to start adventuring, it was for them," he says. "At least in part. I thought I'd just roam the realm, killing some monsters and doing some odd jobs here and there, and send a bunch of gil back home. I'd get to help the family, help others, and go out and see the world all at once. Win-win-win, right? But then everything just—started <em>happening</em>, going so fast. The Echo, Primals, Ascians, dragons, wars, all <em>this</em>—" He gestures vaguely around them, then sighs. "It's been so long since I've seen them."</p><p>The Exarch looks silently at the steps beneath him for several moments. "I will do my utmost to return you to them posthaste," he finally says, raising his eyes to look ahead.</p><p>Han'urel's eyebrows shoot up, and he hastily adds, "I don't <em>blame</em> you; you know that, right? That's not why I said all of that."</p><p>"...I was rather wondering," the Exarch says with a grimace, "but I didn't want to ask. The subject <em>did </em>come up rather...unexpectedly."</p><p>"I guess it did, huh?" Han'urel mumbles, and this time it's his turn to grimace. "I was just thinking—after the talk you had with Lyna, about making time to say things to...to people who are important to you. I wanted—" He stops with a groan and mutters to himself, "It feels so stupid now that I'm saying it out loud."</p><p>The Exarch puts a hand on Han'urel's arm and stops walking. "You are not a stupid man," he says when Han'urel turns to look at him. "And I have always greatly valued your words and your feelings."</p><p>Han'urel blows out a breath and glances up the winding stairs—towards where Elidibus awaits—then down to the floor, then back to the Exarch. "I wanted... Well, you're important to me. And so is my family. So I wanted you to know about them, to know more about me."</p><p>"I..." The Exarch blinks hard. "...Thank you, Han'urel." His cheeks turn pink and one of his ears twitches. "You are very dear to me as well."</p><p>"...Anyroad," Han'urel says, rubbing his neck, "maybe once all this is over—well, maybe this is a little, y'know—but I think you might... I mean, would you want to—"</p><p>The blue walls around them flare with light, and the Exarch cries out as his body flares with it. His staff slips as he slumps against it, but Han'urel throws an arm around him to catch him. "Easy," Han'urel tells him. He eases him to the floor and watches the mottled patches of blue across the Exarch's body slowly expand. "Just breathe, okay?" The crystallization keeps spreading, more than he's seen yet. The Exarch breathes ragged through his teeth. It's only a handful of seconds before the spread stops, but watching it feels like minutes, and Han'urel's chest tightens as each passes.</p><p>The worst of the pain at last seems to pass. The Exarch lets himself sink into Han'urel's grasp as his shoulders heave. Parts of his back and shoulder are cold and hard against the bare skin of Han'urel's arm. Han'urel wishes he could think about anything else.</p><p>"Thank you," the Exarch manages to say between breaths. Han'urel can almost see the centuries he's lived in the exhaustion on his face.</p><p>He gently puts a hand on the back of the Exarch's head and pulls him in so their foreheads touch. "G'raha," he says quietly, and the Exarch's breath hitches. "Tell me we're both going to make it out of this."</p><p>The Exarch doesn't immediately answer. He puts his hand over Han'urel's. "I've no desire for this to be the final chapter in our story," he says. "Nothing would give me greater joy than to journey with you back on the Source."</p><p>Han'urel closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Good," he says, his voice thick, then clears his throat. "I'm pretty sure Alisaie was serious about killing you herself if you try to sacrifice yourself. And I still haven't had a chance to tell you the story of that one time I speared myself in the foot."</p><p>The Exarch chokes. "You <em>what?"</em></p><p>But Han'urel only smirks. "<em>After</em> we're both out of here."</p><p>And the Exarch laughs for the first time in a long time as Han'urel helps him to his feet. "I <em>will </em>hold you to that."</p><p>"That's what I wanted to hear. Now let's go kick this guy outta your house, yeah?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Somber Reverie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Exarch is dying, and Han'urel hates that all he can do is watch. This isn't how this was supposed to end.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter title comes from the lyrics of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG8op2o8omQ">To the Edge</a>.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I concede I...may have overexerted myself," the Exarch manages with a wry, sad smile.</p>
<p>Part of Han'urel wants to snap <em>You think?</em> and shake the Exarch silly. His hand twitches as another part of him very nearly summons his staff—for all the good he knows it will do. When he found the Exarch and Beq Lugg on his way to the Tower and crystallization wracked the Exarch's body, he'd barely started casting an Esuna before the Exarch put a hand on his to stop him. <em>Thank you, but </em><em>I'm afraid this is beyond helping, Han'urel.</em></p>
<p>"Steady now," the Exarch says, pulling him back to the present, "and listen."  He sits up with some effort (his body <em>crackling </em>with the movement). "I told you before that I had a plan, and that when all was said and done...I would ask a favor of you." And he begins rambling in his usual way, talking around the point he wants to make. Han'urel almost laughs bitterly. It's just like him to keep going on like this, even when he's—when he's running out of— Twelve, he wants <em>so badly </em>to be able to just shut himself up and <em>listen </em>while his friend—</p>
<p>The Exarch takes Han'urel's hand, and Han'urel can't stop the small gasp that comes from the touch of the cold, hard crystal against his skin. The Exarch's red eyes fix on his brown eyes, as if to hold them in place, but there's nowhere else Han'urel wants to look. "Promise me you'll take me on your next adventure," the Exarch says quietly, and something wrenches within Han'urel's chest. "A journey. Together. That's all I ask."</p>
<p>Han'urel takes a shuddering breath. This time, the laughter bubbles past his lips—bitter, exasperated, a little hysterical, and ever fond. "You could've asked me earlier!" he says, weakly punching the Exarch's shoulder. "You terrible little drama-monger," he adds for good measure, sniffing and ignoring the water welling in his eyes.</p>
<p>The Exarch chuckles with him. It should make him feel better. Then the Exarch pauses, and asks, "If I were to tell you that this isn't the end—that we will meet again—...would you believe me?"</p>
<p>He wants to. Gods, Han'urel wants to believe him so badly. So he mutely nods, hoping that pretending will make it so. Then he remembers the spirit vessel in his grip, the one Elidibus left behind when he dissipated into light, and he holds it up to look at it. The Exarch sees it too, and breathes a heavy sigh of relief as he reaches for it. "Thank you," he murmurs. But his face shifts, and he withdraws his hand. Instead, he pulls his hood back over his head and, with Han'urel's help, uses his staff to push himself back to his feet. Han'urel closes his eyes, as if that will block out the horrible creaking and tinkling of moving crystal.</p>
<p>"My friend," the Exarch says warmly as they stand. "With you, my mind and memories shall travel to the ends of the world and beyond." He walks toward the throne overlooking the room. "But in this place shall my body stand immovable."</p>
<p>The spirit vessel, Han'urel realizes. Just like the ones intended to bring the Scions back to the Source. He'll literally be able to take the Exarch with him on his next adventure—but only his mind and memories. He'll live on within the vessel. But what kind of living is that? Unable to speak, to run, to touch, to hold. And suddenly Han'urel is angry, and he opens his mouth to accuse the Exarch, <em>You said we were both going to make it out of this, you </em>promised<em>,</em> but he just as quickly realizes that he never actually did. He gave a vague reply and let Han'urel interpret it how he wanted. Just like he'd watched the Exarch do to so many others with that damnable silver tongue.</p>
<p>Questions and demands and pleas fly through Han'urel's mind faster than he can latch onto a single one. All that escapes his throat is a small, cracked "Why?"</p>
<p>The Exarch's eyes are partly obscured by his hood when he turns around. "May it serve as an undying promise," he says, planting his staff against the ground with a resounding ring, and he lifts his chin to meet Han'urel's gaze. There's the firmness of conviction in his eyes that he's always had, even back at Saint Coinach's Find, but also a softness. An apology and an assurance. "Not only to those who looked to me for leadership, but to any soul who has known despair—that hope is everlasting." <em>Trust me, one last time.</em></p>
<p>Han'urel blinks hard and and snaps his spine straight as he feels it start to sag. He has to be strong for him. He <em>has </em>to. It's the least he can do for him as he... His jaw and his fist clench as he steps forward and holds the spirit vessel out to the Exarch. The Exarch looks down at it, and a moment later, it begins to glimmer.</p>
<p>He closes his eyes, relieved. Then the Exarch squares his shoulders, fixes his gaze ahead, and smiles.</p>
<p>Han'urel tries to smile back. <em>A smile better suits a hero. A smile better suits a hero. A smile better suits—</em></p>
<p>And then he can only watch as the Exarch is engulfed by crystal.</p>
<p>The light of the rising dawn glistens across his translucent blue body, now forever frozen in time, casting brilliant rainbows throughout the throne room. Han'urel's breath catches in his throat. <em>No. No no no. </em>He reaches a shaking hand towards the Exarch's face. He caresses a cheek of smooth, cold stone.</p>
<p>A storm of footsteps and heavy breathing enters the throne room behind him—the other Scions, no doubt—but his spiraling thoughts carry him away from them while the Exarch's sightless eyes hold him in place. His thumb brushes across the crystal.</p>
<p>"Give him a moment," Y'shtola says quietly, and after a pause, the footsteps recede.</p>
<p>Han'urel feels a tear trickle down his face. And somehow the mere sensation on his skin is what finally breaks the dam.</p>
<p>He sinks to his knees. His hand slides from the Exarch's face down his chest, grasping for a fold of fabric to clutch but only slipping across the plane of crystal. A ragged breath spills past his lips, and then he's gulping for breath as his chest heaves and water tumbles from his eyes.</p>
<p>Hope is everlasting, the Exarch had claimed. Han'urel had dared to hope for something for himself after everything, after so long.</p>
<p>Why doesn't his hope count for anything?</p><hr/>
<p>Outside the tower, after he's wept himself empty, Han'urel numbly recounts the events to the Scions. He only half-hears their reactions, Y'shtola's attempts to convince him that reaching out to Elidibus had been worthwhile.</p>
<p>But then Urianger posits that the Exarch—his younger body—is still inside Syrcus Tower on the Source. That the Exarch's memories stored in the spirit vessel could be able to merge with it. Beq Lugg concedes that it's a possibility, one that they discussed with the Exarch.</p>
<p>Han'urel doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't want to hope. Gods, it hurts <em>so much </em>to hope.</p>
<p>Noraxia. Moenbryda. Haurchefant. Ysayle. Minfilia. Papalymo.</p>
<p>He is so tired of hurting.</p>
<p>But he's never been a very good pessimist.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So this was supposed to just be a one-shot...but these scenes would just not leave me alone, so here we are! I guess there really <i>was</i> one more chapter we've yet to write, hoho. ...Well, two more, that is; I got to the point writing this where I decided I needed to split it up for my own sanity. </p>
<p>This was a hard chapter to write. Not only was it emotionally taxing, but I had to work within the confines of how this scene played out in the game. Like, I made a few tweaks, but in the end it's gotta stay canon-compliant, y'know? Fiddle around with a scene that good too much, and you risk really mucking it up. Rest assured, the next chapter will be wholly original! Han'urel's gonna get to actually talk!</p>
<p>I took the liberty of tweaking some bits of the first chapter while I was writing this, too. Nothing fundamental has changed, just some bits and bobs of verbage, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.</p>
<p>(Also, for the record, I finished the post-Heavensward MSQs like a month after posting the first chapter lol) (ALSO, HOW ABOUT THAT ENDWALKER REVEAL)</p>
<p>Please look forward to the third and final chapter!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's Han'urel's <a href="https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/25880132/">Lodestone page</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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